Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The Voice of Silence No More

Do you see what I see?I snagged this post concept from Raven, who snagged it from one of his friends. I like the idea. Here are the rules:
1) List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Disable comments.
4) Never discuss it again.
I used to do something similar, but I think I usually named names in those posts. I think I’ll break the rule above about only ten things since I have so much more to say. Well without further adieu, let’s begin…
I don’t deserve you. I’m selfish, I’m spiteful, but you’ve been with me since the beginning. I’m feel ashamed of how I’ve used you and I wonder if it’s possible to ever make up for all your kindness and patience.

Your presence humbles me. Sometimes I’m arrogant enough to believe that my life is bad, but then I remember your example. You taught me that no matter how hard things get, you need to keep on swinging and never to stay down.

I did not want to eat lunch the day I met you. I honestly did try to bolt for the Campbell Barracks food court thinking I could avoid you. I’m glad I overestimated my ability to disappear that day. The friendship we have is the longest running and the strongest that I have. Here’s to another ten years, buddy.

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that was genuinely nicer in my life, and I’ve met a lot of people around the world. I feel so bad about the shit that’s gone down with you in the last couple years and hope that soon everything will be ten times better for you.

I love to HATE you. You’re arrogant, cocky… I’d better stop, I could go on forever. What annoys me the most is despite all your boasting, you lie very little about these things. You’re one of the most competent people I know. I enjoy your company and I’ll miss it later, I know it.

Sometimes I like to joke to myself that you’re the fourth wise man, it’s just that you must’ve taken a wrong turn in the desert and missed that important event and got left out of the book. I value your counsel and cherished the meals we’ve had together, despite tuning you out whenever you started to get technical.

I’ll admit it, I thoroughly enjoyed ramming your head into the wall while using your own momentum against you. I’ll also admit to missing your spazziness.

Sometimes I wish I could slam your head into a wall, other times I wish I could hug you. You have the ability to infuriate me to the highest degree, while at other times you’re one of my closest friends.

You were my “therapist,” and I miss hanging out with you.

I learned more about you in four days than I had known in four years. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still physically drawn to you, but you’ve got some personality problems to work on.

I fell in love with you and you elicited feelings in me that I didn’t think were possible. You taught be to never let someone close enough to hurt me again.

I’m not sure if you know you do this, but you use your appearance and gender to your advantage, and it sickens me. Don’t be surprised if I don’t feel the need to call you back.

You psychotic, sexually-inept bitch. Next time aim the pepper spray at my face instead of my arm pit (I’ll admit, I blocked that one time) when you feel like attacking me in a public place.

I think your first words to me were a stiff “You there,” followed by a query. My first thoughts were “prick.” Like one of the friends described above, my opinion about you has changed, but every time I hear you use the word “but” in response to anything I say, I just want to reach over and punch you hard in the mouth.

You’ll forever haunt my dreams with your perfection and forever will you be a symbol for the unattainable.
Finally! **catches breath** I’m done with this opinionated blog of monumental proportions. I wonder if anyone will figure out who’s who on there, or if any even cares to bother reading?
Song of the Moment: “Eye of the Beholder” by Metallica

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