Friday, June 09, 2006

Last Days as a Civilian (Part I)

Katie at MEPSGod, I’ve been so lazy with the blogging. Hopefully I’ll make up for it some these few days before my enlistment begins.

» (Some) Freedom
I’ve been staying in a hotel for the past week or so. It’s been somewhat refreshing, especially considering that I was pretty much locked in my old apartment due to lack of key. I can’t blame my former roommates for that, though, since I would’ve hesitant to part with mine had the roles been reversed.

The hotel isn’t bad. It’s my first experience with living alone, and let me tell you, unless future living accommodations demand otherwise, I’m done with roommates. However, there are a couple things I could do without, though those are mostly due to the location of the hotel. One morning I was woken up by knocking at seven in the morning. I picked up my combat knife, put on my bathrobe, and answered the door and found a cracked out bum. First he tried lying about living there, which I found out was a lie after I called the after-hours lockout number. He then asks if he can use my shower, but I found it hard to be sympathetic to someone that wakes me up and lies to me. Luckily the guy didn’t argue after I said no, which was probably due to the knife, or the bathrobe, or both.

The next morning I’m napping after my morning workout only to hear the phone ringing. I pick it up and hear some guy asking “Do you want head?” over and over about half a dozen time. Confused, I answer with “huh,” only to have the man clarify the question by saying “Do you want a blowjob?” With all puzzlement over what he was trying to ask dispelled, I hung up the phone and went back to sleep.

» A Good Time at MEPS?
There’s a saying that every recruit in the Military Entrance Processing Station loves to say: “Hurry up and wait.” I’ve been to the MEPS four times now and each time involved 8+ hours of waiting, so I can see why everyone says that. When I was about to go for my fourth time, I resolved myself to knowing that I was about to waste another day, despite the fact that the DLAB test I was taking would only take an hour and a half.

At around 0545 all the applicants and shippers got onto buses. When I sat down in my seat, I overhear the black, female bus driver constantly announce that no one had told her nothing (I used the double negative to give you an idea of her speech). She starts driving and in the first five minutes takes a wrong turn into a dead end. Everyone thought we were going horribly late, but the bus drive kicked into high gear and gets the bus hauling ass down the interstate at about 85 to 90 mph (I’ve never been in a bus going that fast). We arrive and we’re fifteen minutes early. That was a fun way to start the day.

I’m one of the first applicants called out of the line, along with the two others, Brandon (I think) and Katie, who were also taking the DLAB. After a little waiting we’re taken into the testing room by a sailor who sets up a tape player that plays back an hour and a half of gibberish. Our task was to make as much sense as we could out of it using the few grammatical rules found in my test booklets. I was surprised when I found out I was the only one that passed, especially since Brandon had told us before the test that he spoke four or five languages spoken in the Afghani and Pakistani regions.

After the test we began the long wait. Brandon wasn’t very social at this point, probably mostly due to lack of sleep. Katie brought a big book of sudoku puzzles with her and felt the need to teach me how to play. I ended up spending around eight hours at MEPS trying to figure out sodoku and playing big brother to the girl. It turned out to be a good time all things considered.
♪…CAUGHT IN A WORLD WHERE
YOU COULD NEVER RUN TOO FAST
TO FINALLY REACH
THE BEGINNING… AT LAST…♪
Song of the Moment: “The Beginning… At Last” by Black Label Society

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