Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The Outlaw Torn

This may sound somewhat like a post made earlier but I’m compelled to comment further. It’s been more than a half a year since I’ve come to Monterey and I’ve yet to find someone I can comfortably call a friend without immediately having my mind casting doubts on whether that person is indeed a “friend.” This is burning me out. I don’t have the time to take leave from my duties to spend time with those I can trust.

Regulations around here don’t seem to help either. Their current setup makes it difficult to socialize after work with the people worth getting to know, the ones who’ve been there, done that. I’m left with the younger crowd, who for the most part aren’t worth a damn. Next greatest generation my ass.

Maybe I’m placing all the blame on others to avoid taking a look at myself. It’s a common fault committed by most of us. Perhaps years of living on my own have left me hesitant to get close to others through countless disappointments? Maybe I’m socially inadequate? Maybe I’m wasting time asking to many questions?
“I’m afraid to get close to people, ‘cause I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how you’re supposed to do it.”
Movie of the Moment: Metallica: Some Kind of Monster starring Kirk Hammett, James Hetfield, Rob Trujillo, and Lars Ulrich.

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